3 Day Refresh Day 1 Review

Full Disclosure: I am a Beachbody coach. If you read this, get in touch, join my team and buy the 3 Day Refresh, I will make a commission off of it. Then, I will use the money to continue to grow my business and support and inspire my team. However, I will give you my honest thoughts, good or bad. 

The 3 Day Refresh is a healthy way to detox. It's not a juice cleanse. And so far, I like it.

I'm done with Day 1, and I'm thinking... that was easy. I've been on way more restrictive eating plans. When you've been on keto and Medifast, very little intimidates you.

Takeaways:

I'm definitely going to incorporate chugging ice cold filtered water first thing. I say chug because I woke up late and had about 8 minutes to get myself out the door so I chugged. I chugged in a way that was reminiscent of my freshman year at UMass, except then I was chugging beer. I FELT AWESOME. I am definitely doing this every day from now on. I felt energized, alert and refreshed. As I write this, I feel kind of strange knowing that I'm talking about water, but I'm telling you the truth. I swear. Ugh I'm so cheesy. I have friends who have been telling me to chug hot lemon water first thing for years... Is this how you guys feel when you do that? If so, I may need to reevaluate my morning routine.

I missed unsweetened almond milk in my shake (on the refresh, you mix your Shakeology with water). Raspberries helped.

I LOVED the fiber sweep. LOVED. Though I love fiber drinks. As a kid I was a super picky eater, which landed me in chronic constipationland, so I drank a LOT of Metamucil growing up. As a result, I am obsessed with it. I am not sure if I like Metamucil because it tastes like an orange popsicle, or if I like orange popsicles because they taste like Metamucil. Either way, I LOVED the fiber sweep. If organic Metamucil from Whole Foods and Fresca had a baby, that baby would be fiber sweep. You do have to drink it very quickly. I've read some reviews that claim the sweep caused bloat, which I know all about due to my Metamucil superfandom. If you don't drink enough water, this stuff will make you bloat. It needs water to work. I drank probably 6 liters today and I feel fine. My pants are actually loser.

The vanilla fresh protein drink was fine. I'm not a huge fan of vanilla, but I will say I liked this more than the vanilla Shakeology. You can taste the Stevia a bit, but I'd rather taste Stevia than put a more dangerous artificial sweetener in my body.

I love that during the refresh you can eat fresh veggies and hummus. If I could eat hummus and only hummus forever I would. I ate it twice today.

I also enjoyed the cucumber tomato salad. I'm going to add this to my regular rotation.

Prepping everything the night before made this so much easier. I'm huge into food prep, but I don't usually pre-portion chopped carrots into ziploc bags. This time I did, and it helped. Having everything measured already helped. I had a wild day today and I was able to reach into my lunchbox and grab food in about 3 seconds and I loved it. I may need to do this more.

There was a moment around lunchtime when I got hungry rather quickly. I didn't want to blow through all my food too early though, so I split lunch into two meals. First I ate the veggies and hummus, then an hour later I drank the shake. This saved my butt, because I was still recovering from a double workout yesterday.

My favorite part of this 3 Day Refresh so far is that there is a whole page of the booklet dedicated to gas. As you probably know, if it involves talking about bodily functions, I'm 100% on board.

As of right now, I feel good. I've been feeling sluggish over the last couple of weeks, so I'm hoping this will help kickstart my energy levels. I was never hungry. I definitely felt weird at times being on a different routine, and I wanted to eat Smartfood popcorn, but I didn't.

If you're interested in doing the 3 Day Refresh, shoot me an email! A bunch of people on my team are going to do it in the coming weeks so you'll have company. leahnopants@gmail.com

Stay tuned for day 2 :)

Transformation Tuesday /// from Starved to Strong

BEFORE, I was slowly starving myself.

At the time I was so proud. I had just lost 25 pounds in 3 months with a restrictive diet of pre-portioned, processed foods that totaled 800 calories a day. My high school prom dress fit. Every 2 weeks I went shopping and bought the smallest jeans I could fit into, and to my joy the pants size kept getting smaller.

It’s taken years to admit that despite weighing less than I did in high school, and fitting into a size 3, I wasn’t healthy. It was even harder to admit that I slid right back into the dangerous eating habits I thought I had left behind in high school.

After all, I never looked like the stereotype. I knew people with eating disorders didn’t all look like the stereotype: gaunt and skeletal with sharp, visible hips and countable ribs. I knew it wasn’t a disorder for the visibly skinny only. But somehow I still couldn’t see it in myself. Plus, I still looked like me, aside from thinning hair and slightly sunken eyes. I think. I don’t know. I still don’t have enough distance to be objective.

I definitely didn’t FEEL good. I was weak. Little, stupid tasks were hard, like carrying a load of laundry or walking up a flight of stairs. I hadn’t exercised in months, since I was eating so few calories.

I was super unhappy. At my thinnest, I still felt fat. Food was my enemy, and I lived in fear of gaining weight and relinquishing the ironclad control I had over my body. I had to eat less and less to maintain. Eventually I couldn’t.

I wish I could say I had an epiphany and changed my habits right away. I wish I could say I started using portion control and (mostly) clean eating to build a healthy relationship with food and using regular (but not excessive) exercise to improve my strength, balance, and flexibility.

But I didn’t. It took a few more years, countless rounds of dangerous dieting, and a lot of anxiety and shame for me to get to where I am now.

NOW, I exercise and eat healthily because it makes me feel good.

Now, I’m stronger than I have been in years.

Now, I look in the mirror and I’m proud of what I see.

NOW, though my body is far from perfect, I’m happier in my own skin.

Don’t get me wrong… I’m not done. I still have muscle to gain, and fat and inches to lose. I have many mental hurdles to overcome. I still fall into spirals of negativity and unhealthy habits. Progress is slow, because as it turns out, eating 800 calories a day on and off for a few years does a number on your metabolism. But each day I work towards being healthier, inside and out, mind and body. And I’m doing it the right way, on my own terms.

HEALTHY AND FIT for the Holidays Challenge Group!

I HAVE NEWS. I’m hosting an 8-week staying fit and healthy through the holidays challenge group starting November 9th and I’m looking for 10 people to join me! Historically, the holidays are a hard time for me to make healthy choices. I fall into this “Well I’ll get back on track after [insert holiday here]” and before I know it I’m feeling miserable in my own skin and making yet another New Year’s resolution. BUT THIS YEAR IS DIFFERENT.

I’m hosting this group with two amazing, inspirational ladies. Lesley posted a great video explaining the challenge group, and I’ll share it at the end of the post, but here are the bullet points:

1. 30-minute at-home workouts
2. Clean eating and portion control
3. Superfood shakes that taste like dessert, help with weight loss, and can be made into guilt-free treats
4. A private, online group full of accountability partners to support you
5. THERE WILL BE PRIZES.

I need to be really clear about one thing, though. Being a part of this challenge group does not mean no pie (cake, stuffing, mashed potatoes, etc). This is a lifestyle, not a diet, and in life, there is pie, and I eat it. Being part of this challenge group means you will eat a portion of pie and enjoy it. You will not feel guilty, because if you’re feeling guilty while splurging on pie then you’re missing the point of the pie. Being part of this challenge group means you won’t eat 6 more pieces of the pie at 11 pm in your underwear in front of the fridge. You’ll get up the next day, exercise for 30 minutes in your house, and go about your day with no pie-related drama.

So if you’re interested, comment “pie” below or email me --> leahnopants@gmail.com

Goodbye Skinny Jeans: An Obituary

For a long time I kept a pile of jeans that didn’t fit.

Some, my prized Abercrombie size 2s, were from high school, and after the first time I lost weight on Medifast, I rejoiced in being able to wear them again.

Some I bought during that first Medifast run, or the second. Every so often I went to Hollister and tried on all the jeans on the sale rack. It was a contest to see how small a size I could fit into, a contest I told no one about, because of denial, and then shame. My mother’s voice echoes in my head, saying, “Honey, this is a contest no one wins,” and she’s right, but it didn’t matter at the time. I was drunk on the feeling of buttoning those size 3s, stretchy victory wrapped around my hipbones.

For a long time I loved those jeans… for all the wrong reasons.

I loved those high school Abercrombies because they were high-waisted, and actually fit my body correctly. I have no hips. Well, barely any hips. The difference between my waist and hip measurement is about 2 inches. I loved every pair of Hollister jeans, because they symbolized victory (albeit temporary victory) at the end of one of my numerous weight-loss attempts. They were trophies I’d won in the battle against fat and unhealthy and excess and gluttony and insert more twisted eating disorder imagery here. I kept them because they were expensive and pretty and had low numbers on the tags, but more so because getting rid of them meant failure. Getting rid of my skinny jeans meant accepting that I’d never fit into them again, and that, in my eyes, was accepting defeat.

I know we’re always told to dress the body we have now. It’s in the same book with “be comfortable in your own skin,” “love the skin you’re in,” “take pride in your body,” “you are your own worst critic,” and other advice I agree with but can’t seem to internalize. It’s also logical, because in most situations, you can’t walk around naked. You’ve got to wear clothes. So they might as well fit, flatter, and make you smile when you see your reflection in a store window (which in my case means they are often neon, frequently sparkly, and include very short skirts). If you want to buy an outfit and make your goal to fit into it, go for it – some people swear by it – but owning an entire wardrobe full of clothes you don’t fit into is both unhelpful and alarmingly negative. There’s nothing like starting your day grabbing the one pair of jeans that fits off a pile of 11 pairs that are too small. Plus, since you wear that pair so much, you start to wear through them in the upper thigh area, and though it’s less about the size of your thighs and more about the fact that you’re wearing the same pair every single day, as a result, you spend the entire day hyperaware of your thighs rubbing together when you walk. 

From a financial perspective, dressing the body I have right now would be an expensive undertaking for me because every five seconds my body has a new “right now.” Sometimes, it is completely different at noon than it was at 7 a.m. If healthy bodies fluctuate, consider the bodies of people who have been actively yo-yo dieting since freshman year of college, with disordered eating habits tracing back to sixth grade. Some months every day of my period is a different level of bloat. There aren’t enough clothes in the world to account for the weirdness that goes on inside my body on a daily basis. Even if there were, I can’t afford them, and I certainly have nowhere to put them.

I work at a day camp, and on 70s dress-up day I had a brilliant idea. I rounded up my flare leg skinny jeans and offered them up to the guys as costumes. As I watched teenaged and 20-something dudes parading around in my denim victory trophies, it dawned on me: I’m utterly ridiculous.

They’re Abercrombie jeans from 1999. I bought those jeans when people were still worried that Y2K was going to transform all of our technology into steaming piles of gooey red mush (okay maybe not exactly, but forgive me because I just caught up on True Blood). I bought those jeans before I kissed a boy, drove a car, cheated on a Spanish test, or left the country. I bought those jeans before I lifeguarded, taught swimming, and found my calling teaching English. I bought those jeans the year 10 Things I Hate About You was released, but years before I took a page out of Julia Stiles’ character’s book and danced on tables in Munich, Berlin, Rome, Prague, Dublin, Doolin, Amsterdam, and a tiny farming village in Southeast Holland called Well that I was lucky enough to call home for a semester. 

The scene that inspired a lifetime of dancing on tables.

I bought those jeans the same year I bought a pair of platform Velcro sneakers from Costco and wore them under those jeans. PLATFORM. VELCRO. SNEAKERS. FROM COSTCO. I’m going to take a moment and let that sink in.

They looked something like this. Except worse. 

People change. Bodies change. Careers, cities, relationships, and styles change (see above picture: platform Velcro sneakers). Dreams change. Lives change. And so should denim. 

Everything changes, and that’s a good thing. Maybe that means one day, if I work hard enough, my relationship with my body and myself will change.

But I’m starting small.

Goodbye skinny jeans. 

PS:

LIFTING WEIGHTS MAKES ME FEEL SO MUCH BETTER

It was really difficult for me to hear that steady state cardio was not going to make me lose weight. I mean, it shouldn't have surprised me. I trained for a marathon and didn't lose a pound. I was overweight for years while running over 30 miles a week, and only when I stopped running 6 times a week and started boxing twice a week did the pounds start to creep off me. But despite all the evidence proving this, I still didn't want to believe it. 

But I stopped running, and started lifting. A lot. Well, Body Pump three times a week a lot. And I shouldn't even say 3 times a week because I'm not even done with the first week, but I know that this time, I'll actually continue lifting, and it'll actually make me stronger and healthier. If not, I'm going to return to this blog and yell at myself repeatedly. 

BUT ANYWAY... I feel better. I love this feeling. Every time I move several muscle groups hurt, but I love it. It's a constant reminder that this week, I GOT OFF MY ASS. And I'm definitely hallucinating, but in these hallucinations, I see that my body has begun changing after 2 weight lifting classes. I swear if I squint I can see muscles that weren't there before.... 4 days ago. And yes, I'm 100% full of shit, but this is one instance where I'm totally buying into the bullshit, because while I may be seeing muscles that aren't there, THEY WILL BE THERE, so I'll keep imagining that they already are. 

I do want to go running, and eventually I will. I also want to run another marathon, and I'm sure I'll do that too at some point. But I'll wait until my clothes fit, and my squat weight is more impressive. And even then... LOTS OF INTERVAL TRAINING. Plus Body Pump. And yoga, barre, HIIT, biking, pilates, and more. Can't I just work out all day? Can't that be my job? Please? 

I'm off to ice my quads. 

No such thing as sin: A Yom Kippur Ramble

Yom Kippur is one of my favorite holidays because I believe in reflection. Any holiday that demands we stop our busy lives and think about the past year - where we went right, wrong, and everywhere in between - gets an A in this teacher's book. As a teacher, I've always worked it into my curriculum. Thinking about choices, whether they are our own or those of the characters we are studying, has always been one of my top priorities. Personally, it's sometimes tough to hold myself to the same expectation because I'm always willing to put myself on the back burner, as I think most teachers are. But regardless of how insane life gets, Yom Kippur forces me to press pause and really, honestly, reflect. 

This past Yom Kippur, as I sat in Friday night services with my father, I had a lot to reflect about. I hate my body, I feel simultaneously overjoyed and horrified that I'm in between full-time teaching jobs, I'm worried about money, I'm not sure I can sit still for the entire service and I wish I were still in 7th grade so it was appropriate for me to take a 20-minute bathroom break to apply flavored lip gloss, did I turn the oven off, etc. I wondered where we go when we die, what my kitten thinks about all day, when I'd have kids. I tried sitting with perfect pilates posture, and lasted about 10 minutes. I should catch up on Grey's Anatomy, write more, eat less, run more, drink less, and in the middle of this I tune back in to hear the Rabbi say:

There is no hebrew word for sin. The closest translation in English is "missing the target." 

The Hebrew word "hatat," however, has a clear concrete meaning to go with its abstract one. In the Book of Judges we read about a band of sharpshooters, so trained and talented that every one of them can sling a stone at a hair and not miss (Judges 20:16). The word in this verse that means "miss," yehetu in Hebrew, clearly has the same root as "hatat." "Sin," in Hebrew, means something like "missing the target."--From this site

MIND BLOWN.

I didn't MESS UP HORRIBLY.

I just missed the target. 

I didn’t RUIN EVERYTHING.

I just missed the target.

I’m not a TERRIBLE PERSON who deserves punishment/needs absolution.

I JUST NEED TO WORK ON MY AIM.

And that’s a lot easier to process than my usual I’M A TERRIBLE PERSON I CAN’T BELIEVE I F-ED UP YET AGAIN I’LL NEVER GET IT RIGHT I SUCK AT EVERYTHING thought spiral.

Thinking about it as missing the target means even as I was doing things I would later regret, I still had that target in mind. It also means that I was standing on the same field as the archery target that had my goals on it, even if I had terrible aim. Maybe I was running in the opposite direction with my bow and arrow. Maybe I was shooting blind. But at least I was in the same general area as the goal. At least I had it in mind. At least I was on the same field.

If sin is 100% wrong, and there is no Hebrew word for it, then nothing I did this past year was 100% wrong. That means every mistake had a purpose and every regret had a reason. Those mistakes and regrets are mine alone, and I’m not trying to avoid taking responsibility for them. But this makes them seem a lot less futile. It gives my mess-ups a purpose, even if that purpose is me realizing how crappy my aim is as I survey a field full of arrows and an empty target (have I killed the metaphor yet? Probably).

So Shana Tova. Regardless of what religion you are a part of, if you are a part of one at all, I hope you take some time to think about how things have been going for you and reflect. Remember, we all miss the target sometimes. Have a good year, and work on your aim.

I'D LOVE YOUR THOUGHTS ON: 
In the last year (or so), which targets did you make? Which ones did you miss?